But there is good news: your relationship can certainly handle it; After all, any other relationship that led to marriage, family and happiness also withstood the first fight. «Saying that is like trying to use a Saser on permanent marking,» Puhn says. «It ignites the situation because your husband is going to say, `Yes, you did it!` When you go back and forth on what you say or don`t say, you mean or not to say, you focus on the past instead of working on a solution for the future, which is the purpose of any disagreement. When they say, «That`s not what I meant,» you say, «You didn`t mean that, but the result is that I felt like that. So, in the future, please do XYZ. We all know that relationships need work. And like everything else, you get what you give. Disagreements are expected, and the occasional struggle does not mean that you are doomed to disappear. As the answering machine and coach meet Julia Bekker of Hunting Maven In an email, it`s how you don`t agree that will make or break the relationship. Depending on how your partner reacts after the first two parts of the equation determines the nearest range on the street. There are, of course, two possibilities: they understand or get angry. Being in a relationship can certainly have its advantages.
At first, above all, you are both both airy and happy. It`s fun to text all day, we look forward to the next time we see it, everything is fine and dandy … right? But of course, this honeymoon phase doesn`t last forever. So when should couples have their first fight? And can you use it to actually improve your communication? «We can really start to learn more about… these emotions in our relationship, instead of letting them build and maybe cause other problems like this event,» says Benson. The first step, according to Benson, is to discuss how each of you felt during the argument. When your partner starts fighting dirty, calmly tell her that she crosses boundaries that are not correct to cross. You want to go through a disagreement and get out on the other side stronger (and smarter) than before, not boring. Family and relationship therapist Dr. Fran Walfish of Beverly Hills told the Elite Daily that a couple who don`t fight could be more at stake than a couple doing it. «A couple [who have never had an argument] can go to engagement and marriage and not have the opportunity to judge how they navigate differences,» she said.
If there is an unexpected life event – such as a medical terror or a dying loved one, or a car accident – «the couple may have to deal with the crisis and their opposing views, which increases the commitment and intensity of the struggle.» You need to calm down first before talking to your partner. In a state of anger, we often start saying things we don`t talk about. The result is an even more hurtful exchange of words between you and your partner. It is therefore important not to let their anger speak and to calm down. In the first months of the relationship, it is about the love and defense of the partner. You are still not comfortable enough to reveal the «real you» in front of your partner. The first fight reveals the real you and you will know if your partner likes this version of you. During the first fight, you will understand so much about your partner. You learn what hurts your partner, how your partner thinks of you and your relationship, and discover your partner`s fears.